Comfort Zone

The shop in which I currently work is advertising for a new assistant manager. It’s a job I could do, I think. If I really wanted it, if I’d been trying to progress up the ladder at work. But I haven’t been and I don’t.

I share this with you because the favourite for the job is younger than me. Not many 20 year olds expect to be older than their boss.

Don’t get me wrong, I know age isn’t necessarily an accurate measure when judging competency, but it really hit home. That could have been me.

She has a drive and a direction to her life. I don’t. Whilst she’s been putting in the hard yards working her way into this position, I’ve allowed myself to drift through, satisfied with where I am. The truth is, I’m not.

Whilst I work two jobs, I have had both opportunities gifted to me, I’ve never really had to work at anything in my life. Things would come to me fairly quickly and quite naturally. In some respects I’ve been lucky, but I’ve never really been tested.

I guess in a way I have felt self-pity. But I’ve since learned that there are few worse emotions to feel about oneself. I know I haven’t had things easy recently, and I’ve let that become an excuse. It shouldn’t be. I don’t want others to excuse me because of anxiety and depression, so why should I allow myself to do the exact same thing?

I should be doing stuff in spite of my illness rather than not doing it because of it.

For too long I have been sitting comfortably. I haven’t pushed myself. I’ve become lazy. It stops today. No more excuses. Whatever I decide to do I need to commit to it fully, 100%. Attack the day, only then can I reap the benefits and grow.

To see growth we must be tested.

Thanks for reading today. Don’t forget that you can now find me on Instagram too @in_silence_we_suffer 🙂


8 Comments Add yours

  1. Good for you, Matt! I wish you all the best and know that you can do whatever you put your mind to!

  2. “I should be doing stuff in spite of my illness rather than not doing it because of it.”

    I love this line. It really hits home with me. Why should I let an illness define me? Why should I let a stigma limit me? It shouldn’t.

    Thanks for writing.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thank you for reading and commenting! That’s what I’m trying to learn! 🙂

  3. These are things we all wrestle with. Getting out of our comfort zone is especially hard for those of us who experience anxiety…I think it’s great you want to take action in spite of anxiety and depression. Just don’t be too hard on yourself…is it possible that you didn’t really want that job in the first place? Some people are lucky and figure out what they want to do when they’re really young (under 20 years old!) and some people, like me, take much longer! Everyone goes at their own pace…

  4. Hey Matt! The team at Serenity has nominated you for an award! Congratulations!

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thanks B, I noticed earlier today, so I’ve scheduled a post for tomorrow! 🙂

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