The shop in which I currently work is advertising for a new assistant manager. It’s a job I could do, I think. If I really wanted it, if I’d been trying to progress up the ladder at work. But I haven’t been and I don’t.
I share this with you because the favourite for the job is younger than me. Not many 20 year olds expect to be older than their boss.
Don’t get me wrong, I know age isn’t necessarily an accurate measure when judging competency, but it really hit home. That could have been me.
She has a drive and a direction to her life. I don’t. Whilst she’s been putting in the hard yards working her way into this position, I’ve allowed myself to drift through, satisfied with where I am. The truth is, I’m not.
Whilst I work two jobs, I have had both opportunities gifted to me, I’ve never really had to work at anything in my life. Things would come to me fairly quickly and quite naturally. In some respects I’ve been lucky, but I’ve never really been tested.
I guess in a way I have felt self-pity. But I’ve since learned that there are few worse emotions to feel about oneself. I know I haven’t had things easy recently, and I’ve let that become an excuse. It shouldn’t be. I don’t want others to excuse me because of anxiety and depression, so why should I allow myself to do the exact same thing?
I should be doing stuff in spite of my illness rather than not doing it because of it.
For too long I have been sitting comfortably. I haven’t pushed myself. I’ve become lazy. It stops today. No more excuses. Whatever I decide to do I need to commit to it fully, 100%. Attack the day, only then can I reap the benefits and grow.
To see growth we must be tested.
Thanks for reading today. Don’t forget that you can now find me on Instagram too @in_silence_we_suffer 🙂