A few words on loneliness

Do you ever feel lonely when you know that you shouldn’t? I do. But why shouldn’t we? I end up being hard on myself for feeling bad when I know that I shouldn’t. I can be in the company of friends and family but still feel like I am a passer-by. Cut off from those around me; I view the world from behind a double-thick pane of glass.

The following are statements that, upon reading in a newspaper recently, resonated with me deeply. I thought that I’d share them with you. We all know loneliness, but we don’t necessarily understand it. Our mind becomes cloudy and it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish the good from the bad, the truth from the fake. I hope that next time you feel lonely you might be able to refer back to these words, as I hope to do myself, and read the thoughts of reason.

For this is one of the awful paradoxes of loneliness. Not only must the lonely suffer, they should feel ashamed that they suffer. They must hide it and pretend not to be it, because we view loneliness not as circumstantial, but as an almost contagious flaw…

The lonely paradox is the more lonely you are the more you feel obliged to shun society…

Studies show loneliness causes hyper-vigilance: we see the worst in the slight social contact we have…

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24 Comments Add yours

  1. Beautifully written… Please checkout my blog.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thank you! It looks like you’re doing well. Keep up the inspiration! 🙂

      1. Thank you so much… Hope to impress you further

  2. Gabriela says:

    I love the message about this! It is such a paradox because when we feel it, we do feel ashamed sometimes as the quote says, and sometimes we also end up shutting away even more, when what we are in need of is human connection. I know for me I tend to pull away from those around me if I am feeling that way. Almost like I find comfort in trying to remedy my own loneliness. Thanks for sharing those quotes!

    1. M_McKeen says:

      I felt like I needed to share these words. They just felt so true to me and my experience with loneliness. I think I react the same as you, I tend to become more absent, which isn’t always the best way to deal with it. At least now I can see that other people struggle the same way I do. Thanks for the comment! 🙂

  3. xclaudiasthoughtsx says:

    (casually stalking your blog posts, don’t mind me) i’ve always felt lonely throughout my life, thank you for this blog post, i related so much.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Haha no worries, thanks for reading my writing! There are times we all feel lonely when we don’t think we should. It’s somehow indescribable. I’m sorry that you’ve felt lonely, I hope it helps you to appreciate the good times more though?

      1. Claudia says:

        it definitely does xx

  4. xclaudiasthoughtsx says:

    MY LITTLE HEART CANT TAKE THE BRILLIANCE OF THAT QUOTE. thank you.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      As soon as I read it I just knew that I simply had to post it. It’s message needs to be shared! And you’re welcome Claudia, you’ve really made my day!! 🙂

      1. Claudia says:

        aw you’re welcome! it’s now my favourite quote, by the way. its beautiful.

      2. M_McKeen says:

        Thanks that’s wonderful to hear! It’s a shame they’re not my own words, but I hope that they can continue to help you on your difficult days. Do you ever reread your old posts?

      3. Claudia says:

        all the time! old posts really let us see how much we’ve grown as people xx

      4. M_McKeen says:

        Exactly! 🙂 hope you’ve been well? Sorry that you’ve got some problems with your account, I don’t know what to say. Thanks for the nomination too I hadn’t seen that!! 🙂

  5. I cannot lay enough emphasis on how well I can relate to this. This is a very well written post! Great job! 🙂

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thank you! I wish I could say that the words were mine, but I am merely a messenger. I hope they can bring you comfort next time you’re feeling lonely! 🙂

  6. Interesting thoughts. I guess we all get lonely sometimes but it’s not our fault and it’s perfectly natural.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      I don’t think it’s ever our fault. There are times when we are all overpowered by emotions. Sure we could understand our emotions more, but that’s just about it I think.

  7. I like your metaphor of viewing the world as if from behind a pane of glass. I’ve certainly felt that way. Your musings on loneliness remind me of Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke, who also thought long and hard about loneliness. He says that if you should find yourself alone, if you are a true artist, “Your aloneness will expand and will become your home, greeting you like the quiet dawn.” I think here he means that an artist always has room to think, no matter how lonely they feel. He also says “We are unutterably alone, essentially, especially in the things most intimate and most important to us.” This is a sad way of looking at things; however, I understand it to some degree. I think sometimes we feel what is important to us so strongly and may not always feel that others share it. Anyway, thought I’d share that, you might like the book if you haven’t already read it. It’s not all about loneliness 😛

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thanks for this comment, I really appreciate it. I’ve not heard of the book by I’ll definitely look into it. It sounds interesting and I love books that enable me to question my own thoughts and teach me to see things from another point of view. Loneliness is something that afflicts us all, but we don’t take it seriously. Tbh I think in this day and age we are ashamed to feel lonely what with technology these days. But it should be taken seriously, it’s a precursor to so many mental health illnesses. I hope you find that one person you can talk to on the loneliest of days! 🙂

      1. I think you’ll really like the book, and it’s quite short! Definitely check it out. You’re right, there’s definitely a sense of shame with being lonely. And even though it’s really hard to connect and reach out to others sometimes when we’re experiencing mental illness, it’s really important to recovery. Thanks, and I hope you have a person you can talk to too! One person is all it takes. Even blogging counts, I think 🙂

      2. M_McKeen says:

        Thank you! I will do, I’ll let you know when I get a chance to read it! 🙂 I couldn’t agree more. Talking with others has helped me so much with my struggles. And blogging definitely counts! It has made such a difference to my recovery. It has given me the opportunity to speak with like minded people which has helped beyond measure. Thank you! 🙂

  8. Kristina Cox says:

    You have wonderful words ❤

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thank you Kristina that’s so lovely of you to say! 🙂

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