Age is just a number

My uncle and his partner visited us for dinner on Saturday evening, and during the course of the meal I was asked the inevitable “So Matt, you’re 20 now, what do you want to do with your life?”

My answer seemed inadequate. I admitted that I didn’t know.

I was told that I should.

I can’t say that that is something I agree with. Why should I know? Just because I’m 20? What’s so different from being 19? It could just be a single day. Has anyone ever woken up on the morning of their 20th birthday and realised that they’ve finally found their life’s purpose?

You don’t create your life first and then live it. You create it by living it.

We cannot become defined by our age. It’s not like there are things that everyone should and should not know about the direction their life will take by a certain age. We all grow at different rates. Age doesn’t define maturity, intellectualism or wisdom. I’m still learning.

Anyhow they insisted that by simply going to university (regardless of the course I’d enrol on) I would be in a better position than I currently am. But what they didn’t quite grasp is that I’m happy with things at the moment. In fact, I don’t think they even asked.

Sure, six months down the line I might no longer be content with the way my life is going. But that doesn’t make going to university the right decision. For starters, I don’t know what I’d study. I’ve thought about it a lot, but nothing comes to mind. And don’t even get me started on what I’d do after. I haven’t got a clue. But perhaps more importantly for me, three years is a long time to concede as are the £9000pa tuition fees.


11 Comments Add yours

  1. I can definitely relate to this post, Matt. My birthday is coming up soon and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I still don’t have a job and how I’m still not where I want to be in terms with being able to manage my anxiety. Yes, I’ve gotten a lot better over the years in some ways, but I’m also still struggling in a lot of ways as well. I still don’t have a job because of my anxiety and in a lot of ways I feel the pressure from my mom especially about running out of time to get a job.

    I must admit that I feel somewhat displeased with myself. I would have hoped that by now, I would have been even further along in my journey to get through anxiety and that I’d have a job by now and not have anxiety holding me back so much. However, I know that if I continue to try hard, I will get better. I think sometimes, due to society and our parents, we sometimes feel like if we don’t get something done by a certain time, we’re doomed.

    I’m sorry your uncle made you feel this way and I wish you all the best. If it makes you feel any better, I’m older than you and am still struggling.

    1. M_McKeen says:

      I’m sure you’ll find a job when the time is right for you. That’s the important thing. Sometimes we spend too long trying to please everybody else we forget to take care of ourselves. It sounds like you’ve made amazing progress and you’re still improving week on week. 🙂

  2. Reblogged this on Getting Through Anxiety and commented:
    A wonderful reminder from Matt at In Silence We Suffer! Please check out his wonderful blog!

  3. Love love love this. Good on you for not just doing the ‘done thing’ and going to uni straight away, there’s so many options!!!

    1. M_McKeen says:

      Thank you! The annoying thing is schools tend not to show you these other options, for them it’s how many people they can get to go to uni, even if it’s not right for them. :/

      1. I’m lucky, my school does go through the options but I can imagine how frustrating it is when they don’t!

      2. M_McKeen says:

        Yeah it can be tough, I just feel sorry for the people that just get dragged along because it’s the done thing. Do you know what you want to do?

      3. Me too, its not for everybody. I want to go to a performing arts college after sixth form.

      4. M_McKeen says:

        Ahh that sounds good 🙂 good luck!

  4. Matt, live life and you’ll keep on learning until the day you die. Carpe diem!

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