King Sisyphus

Things had been worse than I had previously realised. For a long time, I had been telling myself to keep going, to keep pushing on, to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But reality hit me from time to time, hit me like a wave and knocked me off my feet: I wasn’t moving forward; the hole that I was in was just getting deeper. 

I become consumed by the shadows that darken my mood. I lived in a construct of my imagination. It’s how I got through my day, by pretending that life wasn’t that way.

The truth overwhelmed me, I think. When I saw and talked with friends I saw only how amazing their life was, how happy they were. I know that this was just my distorted view: the devil you don’t know.
I felt like King Sisyphus from Greek mythology. He was condemned to pushing a huge boulder up a steep hill only for it to roll back down as soon as he reached the summit. It’s his punishment for chronic deceitfulness. No energy, drive or motivation remains.
Every day was a struggle. But over the last few weeks I have noticed a definite improvement in my mood. Hopefully things can continue to work  out.
Thanks for reading, have a great day!

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Sorry to hear that things have been hard for you. I’m glad to hear that they are starting to improve x

    1. Thanks Gemma, I know there will be more tough days ahead, but we will all break through in the end! How’ve you been? x

      1. I’ve been up and down a lot recently. I’m doing better then I was a few weeks ago x

      2. It’s tough. I’ve been keeping up to date with your blog. As you’ve said in the past, it’s a marathon not a sprint! Inevitably it’s never a smooth path, but I guess that sometimes you’ve got to have the bad to appreciate the good! Glad to hear that you’re feeling a little better though x

      3. Yeah definitely. Life isn’t always going to be good. I have had a really good weekend which I will get round to posting about this week. If you ever need to talk I am more than happy to listen x

      4. Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m sure I’ll take you up on the offer some day 🙂 and the same to you if you ever need to talk. That’s great, I’m very pleased for you, I look forward to hearing about it! x

  2. You’re welcome. Take care x

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